Thursday, July 30, 2009

Indonesia hotel bombings: Manchester United football team 'was target'

Indonesian police are investigating the origin of an internet message which claims responsibility for twin hotel bombings in Jakarta nearly two weeks ago, and names the Manchester United football team as the target.

Police officers inspect the damage at J.W. Marriott hotel after a bomb went off in Jakarta, Indonesia, Friday, July 17, 2009.
Photo: AP

The messages justified the attack on July 17, in which seven people died, as an attack on American interests and labelled Manchester United, which was due to book into one of the hotels, as "crusaders".

It said the attack was a warning to Indonesians "against the arrival of the soccer club Manchester United" at the Ritz-Carlton.

"These players are Christians, so Muslims should not honour and respect these enemies of Allah," it said.

The posting, which has not been independently verified, was purportedly written by Mohammed Noordin Top, South-East Asia’s most wanted man.

It referred to the "American chamber of commerce" as a target, apparently confirming that a breakfast meeting of Western businessmen at the Marriott, hosted by US lobbyist James Castle, was the focus of the attack.

The message dedicated the bombings to Top's dead accomplice Azahari Husin.

Sulistyo Ishak, a police spokesman, said police were investigating the internet posting, which carried Top’s name at the end and mentioned al-Qaeda in Indonesia.

An expert on regional terrorism said the language resembles previous claims by Muslim extremist groups and may be authentic.

The splinter group has been considered the most likely perpetrators of the hotel attacks. An unexploded bomb recovered from the scene resembled devices used by the group before and documents seized from members indicated they intended to hit prominent Western targets.

Top is accused of planning four previous attacks in Indonesia that killed more than 240 people. His group claimed responsibility for just one of those strikes — triple suicide bombings in Bali in 2005 — in a similar note.


source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/indonesia/5937764/Indonesia-hotel-bombings-Manchester-United-football-team-was-target.html

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

သူငယ္ခ်င္းတစ္ေယာက္ အီးေမး ပို႔ထားေပးတဲ့ ရယ္စရာ

Singapore Airline

Once upon a time in Singapore , there lived a happy couple, Mr. & Mrs. Ng with their 3 lovely daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper way and when they reached 20, they were still virgins.

Years passed, and it was time to get them married.

So, the parents found them the most suitable ' leng chais' (handsome guys).

They got married and were preparing to set-off on their honeymoon.

As 'concerned' (more like 'kay-poh') parents, Mr.& Mrs. Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night experience. So, before the daughters went on their respective honeymoons, Mrs. Ng told them......'Your father

and I want to know about your 1st night encounters and whether you are satisfied.

Write a letter to us, but as not to raise your husbands' curiosity... you all must use a code-name to describe your experiences' .

So, the excited daughters were off. A week passed. Mr. & Mrs. Ng got the first letter. It was from Elaine.

They opened the letter and found the word STANDARD CHARTERED.

They immediately took the newspaper and looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement.

'Ah! here it is!', exclaimed Mr. Ng.

The motto for Standard Chartered was...

'BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY'

Mr & Mrs. Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it was from Ena. The content was simple. 'NESCAFE'.

So, again they took the newspaper and looked for the Nescafe ad. 'Ah! here it is.

'NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL THE LAST DROP'.

Mr. & Mrs. Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another. There was still no letter from Ella.

The Ngs became worried.

Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to figure it out.

The code-name was 'SINGAPORE AIRLINES'.

Why Singapore Airlines?

Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages frantically.

'Ah! Here it is!'

Mrs. Ng grabbed the page and read aloud. Before she could finish ...THUMP!!!. ..she fell off her chair.

The motto was ...'7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES A DAY. NON-STOP'.



မသိခ်င္းေတြနဲ႔ ရႈပ္ေနခဲ့တာ...

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Good article from msn. How social networking site effects our lives!


Social Media Pitfalls
By Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer

As social media become the latest branding strategy, networking technique, job seeking tool and recruitment vehicle, they're also becoming the latest way for people to find out job offers have been rescinded, to get reprimanded at work and even to get fired.

It's happened so many times -- publicized and not -- that one would think we could learn from others' mistakes. (But, if that were the case, I wouldn't have anything to write about, now would I?)

A recent tweet by a potential Cisco employee, for example, turned ugly when she decided to tout a recent job offer:

"Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work."

Unfortunately for "theconnor" (the handle for the would-be employee), Tim Levad, a "channel partner advocate" for Cisco, saw the tweet and responded with this:

"Who is the hiring manger, I'm sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the Web."

Terrible tweets
Everyone has their "My-job-sucks," "I-hate-my-co-workers," or "Give-me-more-money" moments. But they seem to forget that as employers increase their online presence using social networking sites as recruitment and branding strategies, it might be best for their career not to have these moments on the Internet.

Paul Wilson, a freelance/corporate Web marketer and blogger, found several of such moments on Twitter, a social networking and micro-blogging site, and posted these "Top 10 Tweets to Get You Fired" [sic]:

1. "hate my job!! i want to tell my bosses how dumb they are and how meaningless this job is, then quit, and be happy!"

2. "So my job was to test all the food at the new resturant, can I just say, ughew. I'm going to taco bell then twistee treat."

3. "Workin... This job sucks worse then the economy!"

4. "I'm going to work! Walmart! Must find better job! I hate it when chicks there have a deeper voice than me and refer to me as foo!"

5. "Also I'm really bummed that I'm working today, i asked off so i could study but my boss is a ******* **** ***** ***** who can't read."

6. "Coworker smuggled out a chair for me. Currently being paid to SIT around and listen to John Barrowman on my iPod. I don't hate my job today!"

7. "having sex dreams of people you work with makes for an awkward day."

8. "smoking weed at work is so [EDITED] great :)"

9. "It's bad when you overhear the n00b programmer say "I used to work at McDonalds with him" and you wonder if he is talking about the CEO..."

10. "Huh, with my boss on twitter, maaaybe I should take down that sexy picture of her... but her reaction will be priceless!"

Facebook fired
Twitter is not the only culprit in career self-destruction. Facebook, a popular social networking site, has had its fair share of user firings:

Kimberly Swann, a former employee at Ivell Marketing & Logistics of Clacton, U.K., thought her job was boring -- and she said so on her Facebook page, according to an article in The Daily Telegraph. Swann was called into her manager's office and handed a letter that cited her Facebook comments as the reason for dismissal:

"Following your comments made on Facebook about your job and the company we feel it is better that, as you are not happy and do not enjoy your work we end your employment with Ivell Marketing & Logistics with immediate effect."

An MSNBC article tells of Kevin Colvin, the legendary young intern who e-mailed his boss, claiming a "family emergency" would keep him out of the office around Halloween. His co-workers (and Facebook friends), however, saw a photo of Colvin dressed as a fairy at a Halloween party time-stamped on the same day of the "emergency." Colvin's boss responded to him with an e-mail CC'd to the entire company, firing him and including the incriminating fairy picture.

In March 2009, the same MSNBC article cites Dan Leone, a Philadelphia Eagles stadium employee, who was fired after slamming the football organization for trading a player in this status update:

"Dan is [expletive] devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver. . .Dam Eagles R Retarted!![sic]"

Two days later, the head of event operations said they needed to talk about his Facebook status; instead, he got the boot.

Social networking don'ts
If you want to use your profile to get hired -- or at least not get fired -- here are three basic rules to keep in mind:

1. Don't announce interviews, raises or new jobs
As exemplified by "theconnor," how you talk about any of these sensitive topics on your social networking site is key. If you're unemployed, writing "Interview today -- wish me luck!" would be OK, or if you got a job, something along the lines of "So excited about my new job!" is totally acceptable. If you're currently employed, however, I don't think your boss would be too happy to see something like, "Trying to con my boss into giving me a $5K raise. SUCKA!"

2. Don't badmouth your current or previous employer
Just like in an interview, keep your rants about your boss or company to yourself. If hiring managers see that you're willing to trash a colleague online they assume you'll do it to them, too. Plus, there's always the possibility of getting fired if someone sees your negative comments.

3. Don't mention your job search if you're still employed
If your boss knows you're on the lookout for a new job, feel free to advertise it in your status. If you're keeping your search below the radar, however, don't publish anything, anywhere. Even if you aren't connected to your boss online, somebody can get the information back to him or her.

Rachel Zupek is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues. Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/CBwriterRZ.
Copyright 2009 CareerBuilder.com. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.
Story Filed Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - 11:04 PM


Ref URL: http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-1953-Workplace-Issues-Social-Media-Pitfalls/?sc_extcmp=JS_1953_today1&SiteId=cbmsnty41953&ArticleID=1953&GT1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=180fe0860e8f449bb682a3d4cce4eda5-300242218-w9-6

Friday, July 03, 2009

Very nice and clean example to dump your table into excel.
//Written by Dan Zarrella. Some additional tweaks provided by JP Honeywell
//pear excel package has support for fonts and formulas etc.. more complicated
//this is good for quick table dumps (deliverables)

//db connection
$dbconn1 = new DatabaseConnection();

$result = $dbconn1->Query('select * from dept');
$count = mysql_num_fields($result);

for ($i = 0; $i < $count; $i++){
$header .= mysql_field_name($result, $i)."\t";
}

while($row = mysql_fetch_row($result)){
$line = '';
foreach($row as $value){
if(!isset($value) || $value == ""){
$value = "\t";
}else{
# important to escape any quotes to preserve them in the data.
$value = str_replace('"', '""', $value);
# needed to encapsulate data in quotes because some data might be multi line.
# the good news is that numbers remain numbers in Excel even though quoted.
$value = '"' . $value . '"' . "\t";
}
$line .= $value;
}
$data .= trim($line)."\n";
}
# this line is needed because returns embedded in the data have "\r"
# and this looks like a "box character" in Excel
$data = str_replace("\r", "", $data);


# Nice to let someone know that the search came up empty.
# Otherwise only the column name headers will be output to Excel.
if ($data == "") {
$data = "\nno matching records found\n";
}

# This line will stream the file to the user rather than spray it across the screen
header("Content-type: application/octet-stream");

# replace excelfile.xls with whatever you want the filename to default to
header("Content-Disposition: attachment; filename=whateverfilename.xls");
header("Pragma: no-cache");
header("Expires: 0");

echo $header."\n".$data;
?>

Thursday, July 02, 2009

ေရာဂါ

မိနစ္ ၉၀ ရဲ ့ဒုကၡ

အေပၚထပ္နဲ႕ေအာက္ထပ္ဇတ္လမ္း

စေန၊တနဂၤေႏြဆို......

ကြၽန္ေတာ္ ့ Heart Beat ကခပ္ၾကမ္းၾကမ္း

မီးေလာင္ေနတဲ့ေရာမ

ေရနစ္ေနတဲ့ စပါး

ဒီလိုနဲ႕ရာသီအစ

Hull City က

အ႐ူးမီးဝိုင္းေစခဲ့

ေအာင္တစ္ခါရွုံးတစ္လည့္

ခ်ာခ်ာလည္ရုန္းခဲ့

ရာသီအလယ္မွာ

လာက်ီစယ္ခဲ့တဲ့

ေအစီ..ေရ

ငါေတာ့ေသျပီေလ

ေလလြင့္သြားတဲ့

ငါးရာခိုင္ႏႈန္းမ်ား

မ်ိဳးၾကီးသီခ်င္းသာညည္းလိုက္ခ်င္ရဲ ့

ျပန္ရဦးမလား

ေႂကြအတည့္မွာ

ေရထည့္မဲ့စိတ္ကူး

ငွက္က်ားေတြဘယ္ေတာ့မွတန္းမဆင္းဘူး

ဪ....မိုးကလဲငါ ့ေနာက္လိုက္ရြာခဲ့

အဆုံးသတ္က်ၾကိဳးျပတ္ခဲ့ျပီကြယ္ ့။


သူငယ္ခ်င္းရဲ႕႕ ကဗ်ာေလးပါ။

Thursday, June 25, 2009

ပုဆိုးကြၽတ္ျခင္း

ကြၽန္ေတာ္ၾကိဳက္တဲ့အရသာခါးခါး

ေန ့တိုင္းက်ိဳးေနက်သီလတစ္ပါး

သုရာေမရယ

ဘူ....တာေတြကစ

အလုပ္ကပြဲစား

ဂ်ပိုးနဲ႕လိပ္ဇယား

ဒီလိုနဲ႕မုသား

က်ိဳးျပန္ျပီေပါ့ေနာက္တစ္ပါး

ေသြးလြန္တုပ္ေကြး

အရြယ္မွမေရြးပဲ

လက္ထဲကျခင္႐ိုက္တံထဲ

တစ္ေကာင္ျပီးတစ္ေကာင္မိ

ဒီတခါ..ပါဏာတိ

လူအလစ္မွာယူမိခဲ့တာပါ

ဓတ္ပုံပိုင္ရွင္သူငယ္ခ်င္းေရ

ဒီေနရာကေနေတာင္းပန္လိုက္ပါရဲ ့

အခ်စ္ေၾကာင္ ့ျဖစ္ခဲ့ရတဲ့ေစာရ

က်ဴးလြန္မိတာ..အဒိႏၷ

လူေတြက်ပ္တဲ့ဘက္စ္ကားထဲ

အတိုးေကာင္းတဲ့က်ိဳးတစ္ေခ်ာင္း

ေဘးနားလာျပီးၿငဳတုတု

ကြၽန္ေတာ္စိတ္ကခပ္ႏုႏု

မျဖစ္ေခ်ဘူး...ဒါ

ဒါ...ကာေမသု

KEY

ဒီကဗ်ာေလးဖတ္ျပီးကြၽန္ေတာ္ ့လိုပုဆိုးမကြၽတ္ေအာင္ေရွာင္က်ဥ္ၾကပါ

ငါးပါးသီလကိုခါးဝတ္ပုဆိုးကဲ့သို ့ျမဲၾကပါ


သူငယ္ခ်င္းရဲ႕႕ ကဗ်ာေလးပါ။

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I have rented a 2+1 flat in Bedok.

I will sub let 1 common room for males.

S$350 per person for 2 persons
S$300 per person for 3 persons
inclusive of PUB, internet ,allowed cooking, airy, high-floor, Can move in 1st July. Two bus-stops away from bedok MRT.

pls reply this post if interested.

thanks.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

By yuki

SINCE arriving in Singapore two years ago, I have heard many people speak English in different styles; some with an Indian or Chinese or Malay accent. The variety of accents has created a lot of difficulties in communication with people saying such things as ‘...ready finished lah?’ to mean ‘Have you finished it yet’. Such questions can be confusing and require additional explanation from the speaker.

Whilst language confusion is often quite funny, it can also cause occasional distress. The first flat I occupied in Singapore was shared by the Singaporean owner. I remember returning one day to find the owner washing my dishes in the sink. When he saw me he said ‘Hey, you never wash your dishes’, with a large smile on his face. This made me angry because I was always very good about washing the dirty dishes immediately after eating and I was about to explain this to him when his smile gave me reason to pause and consider. When my husband came back from work I told him the story and he laughed, saying ‘He didn’t mean you never washed them, he meant you didn’t do it this one time.”

Such incidents have convinced me to avoid using Singlish (Singapore-English) wherver possible, even though I am not a native English speaker. Singapore is a multicultural country so English is always going to be spoken in a diverse manner, but being from Myanmar, I’m saddened to see compatriots lapse into Singlish.

For example, one day I overheard a phone conversation led by one of my Myanmar colleagues in our apartment, which is shared by six tenants including my family. She kept saying ‘Ya lah. Ya lah...’ At first, I thought she was having a conversation with a Myanmar friend using the Myanmar language since ‘Ya lar, ya lar’ in Myanmar means, ‘Can you get it?’. But later on she also spoke in Singlish and I realised she was actually speaking with her Singaporean friend.

Myanmar nationals living in Singapore have varying levels of proficiency in the English language so it is easy for Singlish to creep into their speech. This is to be expected but what I have found surprising is the enthusiasm with which Myanmar nationals embrace Singlish, lapsing into phrases such as ‘Bye bye lah’.

For the most part though, the mix of accents and styles of speaking English are funny rather than frustrating. One of my Myanmar colleagues was quite angry when she was sent a text message by an engineer and spoken English tutor that read ‘I am so shy to be friends with you, you and your friend are so low profile’. My friend thought that low profile meant low standard and that the guy was being rude.

For parents who don’t want their children raised to speak Singlish, living in Singapore obviously presents problems. The only solution that we can think of is to send our child to an international school to be taught by native English speakers, unfortunately this is very expensive.

Blonde jokes

There is a blonde, a redhead and a brunette on the stairway to heaven.

God says, "There are 3,000 steps and I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh you go to hell."

So they start walking and reach to the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette laughs and goes to hell.

Then on the 2,000th step God tells a joke, the redhead laughs and goes to hell.

On the 3,000th step God tells a joke, the blonde doesn’t laugh and proceeds to the gate.

Suddenly, she bursts out laughing. God asks, "what are you laughing about?", so she replies, "I just got the first joke!".

မသိခ်င္းေတြနဲ႔ ရႈပ္ေနခဲ့တာ...

Friday, June 12, 2009

ပထမ သူငယ္ခ်င္းရဲ႔ ေနာက္ထပ္ကဗ်ာတစ္ပုဒ္။ ခံစားေပးပါဦး။His pen name is KEY.

ေငြ

အလို.....ေငြတဲ့လား
ခင္ဗ်ားလည္းခိုက္တယ္
ကြၽႏု္ပ္လည္းခိုက္တယ္
တခ်ိဳ ့ျပိဳလဲသြားၾက
တခ်ိဳ ့ပိုျမဲသြားၾက
ေမာင္နဲ႕ႏွမ
လင္နဲ႕မယား
အိုးစားေတြကြဲ၊ဓားေတြစြဲလို ့။
မာနေတြျပိဳက်
အမွန္တရားကိုအေမွာင္ခ်
ဒီလိုနဲ႕....
အူမေပ်ာ့လို ့
သီလေလ်ာ ့ခဲ့တဲ့ေန ့စြဲမ်ား။
ေလာဘ၊ေဒါသ၊ေမာဟ
သက္ျပင္းေတြဖရိုဖရဲခ်
လူတန္းေစ ့ေနဖို ့
မုသားစုေနလို ့
မလြယ္ပါဘူး
သူမပါလည္းမျပီးဘူး။
ဒီလိုနဲ႕........
ဒီလိုနဲ႕............
...............
လူမိုက္နဲ႕ေငြ
အခုက်ေတာ့လဲ
အမ်က္ေတာ္ေျပ။ ။

KEY

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

ကၽြန္မနာမည္နဲ႔ ဘေလာ႔ခ္တင္ထားၿပီး သူ႔ခ်ည္းပဲေရးေနေတာ႔ ဘယ္ျဖစ္မလဲေနာ႔.... ကၽြန္မလည္းေရးအုံးမယ္။ ကုိယ္႔ကုိကုိယ္မ႑ာပ္တုိင္တက္လုိက္အုံးမယ္.. ကၽြန္မက ကုိေအာင္ဒင္ရဲ႔အၾကင္မယား ယုကီပါ။ အမ်ားသိတဲ႔အတုိင္း သမီးကေလးတစ္ေယာက္ရွိတယ္ေလ။
သမီးကေလးဆုိလုိ႔ သမီးကုိ ျမန္မာျပည္ျပန္ေမြးတုန္းက ျမန္မာျပည္မွာၾကဳံခဲ႔ရတဲ႔အျဖစ္အပ်က္ကေလးတစ္ခုေ၀မွ်ခ်င္တယ္။ အဓိကေျပာျပခ်င္တာကေတာ႔ ျပည္သူ႔၀န္ထမ္းတစ္ေယာက္ျဖစ္ေပမဲ႔ ျပည္သူေတြကုိ ကူညီခ်င္စိတ္မရွိတဲ႔ ေဆးခန္း၀န္ထမ္းတစ္ေယာက္အေၾကာင္းေ၀မွ်ခ်င္ယုံ သက္သက္ပါ။
ခ်စ္စရာသမီးေလးကုိ ၿပီးခဲ႔တဲ႔ႏွစ္ ေဖေဖၚ၀ါရီလ က အက္စ္အက္စီေဆးရုံမွာ ခဲြစိတ္ေမြးဖြားခဲ႔ပါတယ္။ သြားရလာရအဆင္ေျပေအာင္ အမိ်ဳးသားရဲ႔အိမ္နဲ႔ မနီးမေ၀း အက္စ္အက္စ္စီမွာ ေမြးဖြားခဲ႔တာပါ။ သမီးေလးကုိေမြးၿပီး သူေလး လသားအရြယ္ဖြ႔ြံၿဖိဳးတုိးတက္မႈအတြက္ သမီးေမြးတုန္းက ၾကည္႔ရႈေပးခဲ႔တဲ႔ ကေလးဆရာ၀န္တစ္ေယာက္ဆီမွာ ဆက္လက္ ျပသခဲ႔ပါတယ္။ အရင္ကေပါ႔ေပါ႔ေနၿပီး ဘာမွသိပ္မေလ႔လာထားတဲ႔ ကၽြန္မတစ္ေယာက္ အဲဒီအခိ်န္က်မွပဲ ကေလးကုိ ကာကြယ္ေဆးထုိးႏွံဖို႔ မိခင္ႏုိ႔ပဲ တုိက္ဖုိ႔ အစရွိတဲ႔ ကိစၥ၀ိစၥေတြ နားလည္စျပဳရုံျဖစ္လာတဲ႔အခ်ိန္ေပါ႕... ဒါနဲ႔ပဲ သမီးကေလး ၁၄ရက္သမီးအရြယ္မွာ ေဆးခန္းတစ္ခါျပန္ျပရပါတယ္. အရာရာအဆင္ေျပလားေပါ႔။
အကူအေဒၚႀကီးနဲ႔အတူ ေဆးခန္းသြားျပ ၿပီးေတာ႔ ဆရာ၀န္ကတစ္လခဲြသမီးအရြယ္က်ရင္ ျပန္လာဖုိ႔ခ်ိန္းေပးပါတယ္။ သမီးကေလးရဲ႔ ကုိယ္အေလးခ်ိန္က သိသိသာသာ မတက္လာတဲ႔အတြက္ ဆရာ၀န္က အားေဆးညႊန္ေပး၊ အျခားလုိအပ္တဲ႔ေဆးေတြလည္းညႊန္ေပးလုိက္ပါတယ္။
ဆရာ၀န္ခ်ိန္းတဲ႔အတုိင္း တစ္လခဲြအရြယ္သမီးေလးကုိပုိက္ၿပီး ကာကြယ္ေဆးထုိးႏွံၿပီးေငြရွင္းေတာ႔ ငါးေသာင္းေက်ာ္ရွင္းလုိက္ရေတာ႔ သမီးေလးကုိယ္အေလးခ်ိန္တက္လာလုိ႔ ေပ်ာ္ေနတဲ႔ ကၽြန္မ အေတာ္ေလးမ်က္လုံးျပဴးသြားတယ္။ အိမ္ျပန္ေရာက္ၿပီး ခင္ပြန္းသည္ဆီက ဖုန္းလာတဲ႔အခါ သူက စကၤာပူအိမ္ေဘးခန္းက အစ္မက ေဒသႏၳရေဆးခန္းမွာ သြားထုိးရင္ တစ္ျပားမွေပးစရာ မလုိတဲ႔အေၾကာင္းေျပာျပတယ္လုိ႔ဆုိပါတယ္။
အဲဒီေတာ႔ ကၽြန္မ သမီးကေလး ႏွစ္လခဲြအရြယ္က်ရင္
ေဒသႏၳရေဆးခန္းမွာကာကြယ္ေဆးထုိးႏွံႏုိင္ဖုိ႔ စိုင္းျပင္းေတာ႔တာေပါ႔။ ေနျပင္းျပင္းပူေနတဲ႔ ဧၿပီေနကုိ ဂရုမထားပဲ သမီးကေလးအိပ္ခ်ိန္မွာ မနီးမေ၀းမွာရွိတဲ႔ ေဒသႏၳရ ေဆးခန္းကုိ အမ်ဳိးသားရဲ႕ ႀကီးႀကီးနဲ႔အတူခ်ီတက္ခဲ႔ပါတယ္။ ေမွာင္ေမွာင္မည္းမည္း အခန္းက်ဥ္းကေလးတစ္ခုထဲမွာထုိင္ေနတဲ႔ သူနာျပဳဆရာမႀကီးတစ္ေယာက္နဲ႔ အဆင္သင္႔ေတြ႔ၿပီး အက်ဳိးအေႀကာင္းရွင္းျပေတာ႔ သူက ေနာက္တစ္ပတ္သမီးကေလးႏွစ္လခဲြအရြယ္လာခဲ႔ဖုိ႔ခ်ိန္းပါတယ္။ မွတ္မွတ္ရရ နာဂစ္မတုိင္ခင္တစ္ရက္ေပါ႔။

ခ်ိန္းထားတဲ႔မနက္မွာ နာဂစ္အစပ်ဳိးမုိးဖဲြဖဲြေအာက္မွာ (အဲဒီတုန္းကေတာ႔ ေၾကာက္မယ္ဖြယ္ မုန္တုိင္းအစပ်ဳိးမွန္းမသိပဲ) သမီးကေလးရဲ႔အဖုိးနဲ႔ အတူသမီးကေလးပုိက္ကာေရာက္သြားေတာ႔ပါတယ္။ သမီးေလးကုိ ေဆးမထုိးခင္ ၀န္ထမ္းတစ္ေယာက္ညႊန္ျပတဲ႔႔ အခန္းထဲ၀င္ၿပီး ေဆးခန္းစာအုပ္ဖုိးေပးၿပီး စာအုပ္လုပ္ရတယ္။ ၿပီးေတာ႔သူက ကေလးကုိအနီးမွာရွိတဲ႔ အ၀တ္ပုခက္ထဲထည္႔ဖုိ႔ညႊန္ျပတဲ႔အတြက္ ကၽြန္မအူေၾကာင္ေၾကာင္နဲ႔ထည္႔လုိက္ေတာ႔ ကေလးကုိယ္အေလးခ်ိန္ခိ်န္တာတဲ႔။။ကတၱားနဲ႔ပုခက္ကုိခ်ိတ္ထားၿပီး ကုိယ္အေလးခ်ိန္ခ်ိန္ေပးတာတဲ႔ ...အ႔ံေရာ...

အဲ..ၿပီးေတာ႔ သဲအိတ္ေတြဆင္႔ခင္းထားတဲ႔လမ္းအတုိင္း ေခ်ာ္မလဲေအာင္ေလွ်ာက္သြားၿပီးတစ္ျခားအခန္းထဲကုိ ၀င္ရျပန္တယ္။ ဟုိတစ္ေန႔က ကၽြန္မတုိ႔ သြားခဲ႔တဲ႔အခန္းပဲ. အခန္းထဲမွာေတာ႔ ဟုိေန႔ကနဲ႔မတူပဲ ဆရာ၀န္ကုတ္ ၀တ္ထားတဲ႔ အမ်ဳိးသမီးတစ္ေယာက္၊ သူနာျပဳ၀တ္စုံအနီ၀တ္ထားတဲ႔ ဆရာမသုံးေယာက္ထုိင္ေနပါတယ္။ကၽြန္မတုိ႔ေတြ႔ခဲ႔တဲ႔ သူနာျပဳဆရာမေတာ႔မေတြ႔ခဲ႔ပါဘူး။

သမီးကေလးရဲ႔ ရာဇ၀င္ကုိ ယူတဲ႔အခါ ဆရာ၀န္မေလးက ကာကြယ္ေဆးထုိးၿ႔ပီးတဲ႔ ရာဇ၀င္ကုိသိလုိတဲ႔အတြက္ ကၽြန္မက အက္စ္အက္စ္စီေဆးမွတ္တမ္းကုိထုတ္ေပးတဲ႔အခါ ဆရာ၀န္မေလးက ငါးမ်ဳိးစပ္ေဆးကုိ သိပ္နားမလည္တဲ႔အတြက္ သူနာျပဳဆရာမတစ္ေယာက္က စာအုပ္ ဆဲြယူ ဖတ္ၾကည္႔ လုိက္ၿပီး“ ေျသာ္ ကေလးအထူးကုနဲ႔ အျပင္ေဆးခန္မွာျပထားတာပဲ. ဘယ္ေလာက္ေပးလိုက္ရလဲ“ လုိ႔ ျပဳံးတုံးတုံးနဲ႔ လွမ္းေမးပါတယ္။

သူဘာေျပာခ်င္တာကုိ သိပ္နားမလည္တဲ႔ ကၽြန္မက ထုံးစံအတုိင္း အစအဆုံးရွင္းျပၿပီးေတာ႔ အဲဒီဆရာမကပဲ ”အဲဒီေဆးခန္းမွာပဲ သြားထုိးလုိက္ပါ။သူတုိ႔က မထုိးေပးဘူးဆုိေတာ႔မွ ျပန္လာေပါ႔“ညစ္ၿပဳံးၿပံဴး ၿပီး ေျပာပါတယ္။ .. ကဲ ကၽြန္မလည္းဘာမွမတတ္ႏုိင္ပဲ ျပန္လာရပါေတာ႔တာေပါ႔။ ဒါ သူတိုေခတ္ေလ...

ေဒသႏၱရေဆးခန္းေတြမွာရွိတဲ႔ ဒီေဆးေတြဟာ ျမန္မာႏုိင္ငံက ကေလးေတြကုိ ကေလးေရာဂါေတြက ကာကြယ္ႏုိင္ဖုိ႔ ယူနီဆက္ဖ္က ေပးလႈထားတာပါ။ ယူနီဆက္ဖ္မွာ သူငယ္ခ်င္းရွိလုိ႔လွမ္းအေၾကာင္းၾကားခ်င္ေပမဲ႔ အခ်င္းမမ်ားခ်င္ေတာ႔တဲ႔အတြက္ ကေလးေဆးေတြကုိ ျပေနက်ေဆးခန္းမွာပဲ အၿပီးသတ္ထုိးႏွံလုိ႔ စကၤာပူကုိပဲ သမီးေလးနဲ႔အတူ ျမန္းႀကႊလာခဲ႔ပါေတာ႔တယ္။ အျပန္လမ္းေပၚမွာ နာဂစ္ဒဏ္ေၾကာင္႔ အေဆာက္အအုံပုံစံပ်က္ေနတဲ႔ ေဒသႏၱရေဆးခန္းကုိ လွမ္းေမွ်ာ္ၾကည္႔ရင္း ကၽြန္မလုိ မိခင္ဘယ္ႏွစ္ေယာက္ေလာက္ ဒီလုိေတြ႔ၾကံဳရလဲလုိ႔ ေတြးမိေနခဲ႔ပါတယ္။

ေဖာင္း...
အား...ရက္စက္လိုက္တာ သမီးရယ္။
ျဖစ္ပံုက ဒီလို။ မေန႕က သမီး နဲနဲဖ်ားလို႔ ညက်ရင္ ေကာင္းေကာင္းမအိပ္ပဲနဲ႔
တစ္နာရီျခား တစ္ခါေလာက္ ႏိုးႏးိုၿပီး သူ႕အေမႏို႔ကို စို႔ေနတတ္တာ။
သမီးက ႏို႔စို႔ရင္ သူ႔ ပံုစံက ကၽြန္ေတာ္တို႔ အိပ္သလို အလ်ားလိုက္ မအိပ္ပဲ အေဖနဲအေမၾကားမွာ ကိုယ္ႀကီးကို ကန္႔လန္႔ျဖတ္ၿပီး အိပ္တတ္တယ္။ ေနာက္ၿပီး ေျခေထာက္ကလဲ အၿငိမ္မေနဘူး။ ေျခေထာက္နဲ႔ ထိေနတဲ့ အရာမွန္သမွ် ကို ကန္ထုတ္လိုက္ ဖေနာင့္နဲ႔ ေပါက္လိုက္ လုပ္ေနတတ္တယ္။

ဒီမနက္ မိုးလင္းခါနီးေတာ့လဲ အဲဒီလိုပဲ ႏို႔စို႔ေနရင္း သိေတာ့သိေနသား သမီးေျခေထာက္က မ်က္ႏွာနားကို
၀ဲေနတယ္ဆိုတာ။ဒါေပမယ့္ မေန႔ညက အိပ္တာ ေနာက္က်ေတာ့ မထႏိုင္ဘူး။သမီးကို ေဆးတိုက္ဖို႔ ေစာင့္ေနတာေၾကာင့္ အိပ္တာေနာက္က်သြားတယ္။

အဲဒီအခ်ိန္မွာပဲ ခ်စ္သမီးရဲ႕ ဖေနာင့္က မ်က္လံုးေပၚကို က်လာေတာ့တာပဲ။
အားယိုးယိုး....... လို႔ ေအာ္ရတဲ့အထိေအာင္ နာတာပါပဲ။
လူလဲ အိပ္ခ်င္စိတ္ေတြ ဘာေတြ ေပ်ာက္သြားတယ္။
ငါေတာ့ ရံုး ေတာင္ သြားႏိုင္ပါ့မလားလို႔ ေတြးမိတယ္။(ရံုးမသြားခ်င္ရင္ ဇတ္လမ္းကို အဲဒီလိုပဲ ဆင္ရတယ္။)
ေနာက္ေတာ့ သမီးကိုယ္ပူကို စမ္းၾကည့္ေတာ့ နဲနဲသက္သာလာသလိုပဲ။ ဒါနဲ႔ ေဆးထပ္တိုက္မယ္ စဥ္းစားေတာ့ မနက္စာ စားၿပီးမွ ေဆးတိုက္တာ ေကာင္းမယ္ဆိုၿပီး "မိန္းမေရ သမီးကို မနက္စာေကၽြးၿပီးမွ ေဆးတိုက္ရင္ေကာင္းမယ္။"
သမီးကႏိုးေနၿပီေလ။
ဒါနဲ႔ မိန္းမက မနက္စာ သြားျပင္ေနတုန္း ကိုယ္လက္သန္႔ရွင္းေရးလုပ္။
သမီးေလးကို မ်က္ႏွာသစ္ေပး။ diaper လဲေပး။ ေနာက္ၿပီး ရံုးကို ခြင့္တိုင္တဲ့ email ပို႔။

"မနက္စာရၿပီ။အျပင္မွာစားမလား၊ အထဲမွာ စားမလား "လို႔ မိန္းမက ေမးေတာ့ "အထဲမွာပဲစားရေအာင္၊ သမီးက ေလတိုက္ခံလို႔ မရဘူး"
ကၽြန္ေတာ္တို႔ ႏွစ္ေယာက္အတြက္က ေပါင္မုန္႔နဲ႔ ၾကက္ဥေက်ာ္။ သမီးက ေပါင္မုန္႔နဲ႔ ေကာ္ဖီ။(ၾကက္ဥေက်ာ္က သမီးကို ရင္ျပည့္ႏိုင္တယ္။ေနမေကာင္းေတာ့ အစာမေျခႏိုင္မွာ စိုးရတယ္၊)

"မေရ။ သမီးကေတာ့ ကိုယ္ပူက်လာၿပီ။ ေနာက္ ေပါင္မုန္႔လဲစားတယ္ေဟ့" မိန္းမကို လွမ္းေျပာေနရင္းက တူတူတူတူ တူတူတူတူ နဲ႔ ဖုန္းက ထမည္လာပါေရာ။

အေစာႀကီးရွိေသးတာ။ဘာေၾကာင့္ ျမည္တာလဲေပါ့။
ဖုန္းေခၚတဲ့ အသံေတာ့ မဟုတ္ဖူး။ Reminder လို ႏိႈးစက္လို အသံမ်ိဳးပဲ။
ဒါနဲ႔ သြားၿပီး ၾကည့္လိုက္ေတာ့....
today is our 2nd anniversary
ဟိုက္ ဟုတ္သား
အရင္က ဒီလိုေန႔ရက္ေတြကို မေမ့တတ္တဲ့ လူႏွစ္ေယာက္။
အထူးသျဖင့္ ေန႔ရက္ေတြ အျဖစ္အပ်က္ေတြကို မွတ္မွတ္သားသားရွိတဲ့ ကြ်န္ေတာ့္မိန္းမတစ္ေယာက္
အိမ္ေထာင္က်ၿပီး ၂ ႏွစ္ အတြင္းမွာ ေျပာင္းလဲသြားလိုက္ပံုမ်ား။သမီးေဇာနဲ႔ ၂ ေယာက္စလံုး ႏွစ္ပတ္လည္ေန႔ကို ေမ့ေနလိုက္ၾကတာ။
"ဒီမွာၾကည္စမ္း"ဆိုၿပီး မိန္းမကို ဖုန္း reminder ေလးျပလိုက္ေတာ့ .....

ဒီ ဒုတိယပုိင္းက ေတာ႔ ကၽြန္ေတာ႔ ၾကင္သူရဲ႔ ဖိီလင္ေလးပါ...

အင္း သူေျပာသြားသလုိပါပဲ။ ကၽြန္မက အမွတ္တရျဖစ္စရာရက္စဲြေလးေတြကုိ သတိတရ ရွိတတ္ပါတယ္။ တမင္တကာမွတ္သားထားတာမဟုတ္ဘဲ မွတ္မိေနတတ္တာပါ.. (အရင္တုန္းက... အိမ္ေထာင္မက်ခင္ထိေပါ႔) အေဖဆုံးတဲ႔ ရက္စဲြ ... ကၽြန္မအႏွစ္သက္ဆုံးအလုပ္၀င္တဲ႔ ရက္ ... သူနဲ႔ စႀကိဳက္တဲ႔ ရက္ စသျဖင္႔ ေပါ႔.. ဒါေပမဲ႔ ကၽြန္မတုိ႔ အိမ္ေထာင္က်ၿပီးေနာက္ပုိင္း အထူးသျဖင္႔ သမီးကေလးေမြးၿပီးေနာက္ပုိင္း ကၽြန္မ အရာ ရာ ကုိ ေမ႔ေလ်ာ႔တတ္လာပါတယ္။
ဒီမနက္လည္း မေန႔ညက အဖ်ားတက္လုိ႔ ေကာင္းေကာင္းမအိပ္ႏုိင္တဲ႔ သမီးကေလးအေၾကာင္းေတြးရင္း... ဒီေန႔ ဟာ ကၽြန္မတုိ႔အတြက္ အလြန္အေရးပါတဲ႔ ေန႔တစ္ေန႔ ျဖစ္တယ္ဆုိတာ အလုိလုိေမ႔ေလ်ာေနပါတယ္. သမီးေလး ဘယ္လုိသက္သာေအာင္ ေရပတ္၀တ္ပဲ နဖူးေပၚတင္ရမလား အပူက်ေဆးတုိက္ရမလား.. ေသြးလြန္တုပ္ေကြးဆုိရင္ ဘယ္လုိလုပ္ရမလဲ ဆုိၿပီး တမနက္လုံးေတြးေနမိတယ္
ဖုန္း က reminder ေလးကုိ သူလာျပေတာ႔ အလုိလုိၿပဳံးရယ္မိရင္း လြန္ခဲ႔တဲ႔ ႏွစ္ႏွစ္က ကၽြန္မတုိ႔ ပုံရိပ္ေတြ ျပန္ျမင္ေယာင္လာပါတယ္...

ကၽြန္မရဲ႔ ၾကင္သူက ေၾကြေရာင္ေတာက္ေနတဲ႔ ရွပ္အက်ီအေပၚက နက္တုိင္ ဒီဇုိင္းလွလွပတ္ၿပီး စတုိင္လ္ေဘာင္းဘီအနက္နဲ႔ သပ္သပ္ရပ္ရပ္ညွပ္ထားတဲ႔ ဆံပင္တုိတုိေထာင္ေထာင္ေလးေတြနဲ႔ သန္႔စင္ေတာက္ပေနခဲ႔တာ (သူ႔သူငယ္ခ်င္းေတြက ဘဲ ႀကီးက သန္႔ျပန္႔ေနတာပဲလုိ႔ ေျပာယူရတဲ႔ အထိ)... ကၽြန္မကလည္း ကုိယ္နဲ႔ အတိခ်ုဳပ္ထားတဲ႔ ေရႊအုိေရာင္၀မ္းဆက္ကုိ ပု၀ါေလးနဲ႔ ဆံပင္ကုိလည္း သပ္သပ္ရပ္ရပ္စည္းေႏွာင္လုိ႔ မ်က္ႏွာကုိလည္း အဆင္ေျပေအာင္လိမ္းခ်ယ္ထားခဲ႔တာ..
တစ္ေယာက္နဲ႔ တစ္ေယာက္ လက္စြပ္၀တ္ေပးရင္း လက္ထပ္က်မ္းက်ိ္န္တဲ႔အခုိက္ ႏွစ္ေယာက္စလုံး ရင္ေတြ တဆတ္ဆတ္ခုန္တဲ႔ အထိ စိတ္လႈပ္ရွားေနခဲ႔ၾကတာ.. သူက ကၽြန္မရဲ႔ လက္ႏွစ္ဖက္ကုိ ဆဲြယူ အုပ္မုိးႀကည္႔ ကၽြန္မကလည္း ျပန္ေမာ႔ၾကည္႔ရင္း solemniser တုိင္ေပးတဲ႔ အတုိင္းလုိက္ရြတ္ေနမိတုန္း စိတ္လႈပ္ရွားေနၾကတာ ေဘးပတ္၀န္းက်င္က လူေတြကိုေမ႔သြားတဲ႔အထိပါပဲ...

ဒါေပမဲ႔ ..ဒီမနက္ အဲဒီလုိ အခ်ိန္မွာေတာ႔ ကၽြန္မတုိ႔ အဲဒီလုိ စိတ္ကူးယဥ္ဖုိ႔ ေနေနသာသာ.. ေနေကာင္းခါစ သမီးေလးကို အလယ္မွာထားလုိ႔ ကၽြန္မကလည္း ညက၀တ္ထားတဲ႔အက်ီ.. ဆံပင္ေတြကုိလည္းေခါင္းေပၚဖရုိဖရဲ ပစ္တင္လုိ႔... မ်က္ႏွာအေျပာင္သားနဲ႔ သူကလည္း မ်က္ႏွာေတာ႔သစ္ထားပါရဲ႕ အိပ္ေရးပ်က္မ်က္လုံးေတြနဲ႔ ေခါင္းအုံးကုိ မွီလုိ႔...


မႏွစ္က 1st anniversary တုန္းကလည္း ကၽြန္မနဲ႔႔ သမီးကလည္း ျပန္ေရာက္ခါစ သမီးကလည္း သိပ္ငယ္ေသးေတာ႔ ရြာလည္ေနတဲ႔အခ်ိန္ဆုိေတာ႕ ေနာက္ႏွစ္ရက္ေလာက္ၾကာမွ သတိရၾကတာပါပဲ။

ရုပ္ရွင္ေတြတဲမွာေတာ႔ ဒီႏွစ္ပတ္လည္ရက္ကုိ တခမ္းတနားနဲ႔ က်င္းပၾက.. ဒါမွမဟုတ္ အျပင္ထြက္ေလွ်ာက္လည္ၾကနဲ႔ အားက်စရာ ေပ်ာ္စရာေပါ႔ ...
'phone reminder' ေလးကုိ ၾကည္႔ရင္း သူက “This is lfe" လုိ႔ ခပ္တုိးတုိးေရရႊတ္တာ ၾကားလုိက္မိပါရဲ႕..



Thanks for reading this.
ေအာင္ဒင္ + ယုကီ (အိမ္ေထာင္သက္ ဒုတိယႏွစ္ပတ္လည္ အမွတ္တရ)
မသိခ်င္းေတြနဲ႔ ရႈပ္ေနခဲ့တာ...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Movies


ရုပ္ရွင္ေတြ တင္မယ္တင္မယ္နဲ႔ မတင္ျဖစ္ဖူး။

အခုမွပဲ တင္ရေတာ့မယ္။
mediafire link ေတြပဲျဖစ္ဖို႔ မ်ားပါတယ္။




Movie's name: 3:10 To Yuma

Starring:
Russell Crowe

download from

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=6d6eb05433b593b8e5c3dee5769931ecdc0d6f9188b14d2cb8eada0a1ae8665a


Download FFSJ to join the files from here.
password to join the files is sharingcentre.info


########################################################

ေနာက္တစ္ကားက
Movie's name: American Gangster
Starring: Denzel washington, Russell Crowe

download from

http://www.mediafire.com/?sharekey=e00ecd198a9e0b578c9e7c56ba37815fd4ebc00d221cb813Download FFSJ to join the files from here.
password to join the files is sharingcentre.info


will update later
enjoy.
aung din.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Finally champions league final was over.

 
Man united was defeated 2 Nil by Barcelona.
What can I say?
Better say nothing because I was very upset about the result.But i have to admit that Man United didn't played well while Barca played very well especially in group playing.
Etto was really quick to score a goal when Vidic failed to stop him in the penalty box.
And Messi's flying header was also amazing.
Worst player in Man United: Ryan Giggs and Alex Ferguson.
Ferguson's squad was not good enough to beat Barcelona.
Sigh!
I'll stop here.
Let's move on to next year.
Cheers Reds.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

သူငယ္ခ်င္းတစ္ေယာက္ရဲ႔ ကဗ်ာေလးပါ။ ခံစားေပးပါဦး။

ေသမင္း

ေငြေၾကးနဲ႕အာဏာကိုဂ႐ုမစိုက္တဲ ့ေကာင္
အခ်ိန္ရွိတိုင္းတေယာက္ျပီးတေယာက္
ျပန္လည္သိမ္းပိုက္လို ့

ေဟာဟိုမွာ
မ်က္ေဒါင္ ့နီၾကီးနဲ ့
ၾကည့္ေနလိုက္ပံုက
ခင္ဗ်ားလားကြၽန္ေတာ္လား
တေန ့ေတာ့ေသခ်ာတယ္
KEY
−−−−−−−−−−−−−−−

Monday, May 25, 2009

A woman went to her priest with a problem...

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "

"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

credit to igoogle

Cracking the Human Resource Code

COMPETITIVE SALARY
Most of our competitors don't pay much either.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
You'll be here very late, very often -- might as well be comfortable.

"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED"
Your first four projects are already way overdue.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Did we mention that you'll be here very late, very often? And most weekends.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female applicants must be childless.

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly, that position has already been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
This job listing is just a legal formality. The position was filled by some executive's nephew.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
Due to consolidation, you'll be replacing three people.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
This company is a total mess.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have all the responsibilities of upper management, without the pay, title or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Listen to management, figure out what they want, don't ask too many questions and get the sh*t done.

credit to igoogle

Job Fair

A jock and a geek applying for the same job.

The boss said, "Boys, you need to take a test before you can get this job."

So they took the test and the next day they came back to see who the boss chose. "Well," he said, "Both of you got the same score except I'm going to choose the geek."

The jock complained, "Don't you think that's prejudice or something?"

"Well," the boss said, "Let me tell you what happened. Both of your papers were right all the way through until the last question came up, and the geek answered 'I don't know,' and then when I looked at your paper, you answered, 'Me either'.


credit to igoogle

Meeting the Parents

A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin. He goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist his situation and asks for advice. The pharmacist tells him everything there is to know about sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack or a 10-pack. The boy says he feels lucky and insists on the 10-pack.

That night, the boy shows up for dinner a little late. His girlfriend meets him at the door leads him straight to the dinner table where her parents are already seated. The boy sits down, quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still silent with his head down. Five minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 10 minutes, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

credit to igoogle

Happy Butt

A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."

The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."

The girl goes to the principal's office and he asks, "What's your name?" The little girl says, "Happy Butt."

The principal calls the girl's mother to get the truth. After getting off the phone, he says, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl exclaims, "Glad Ass -- Happy Butt -- what's the difference?"

credit to igoogle